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LATSW Blackbox: Pixy One

  I played

Lost Among The Starlit Wreckage

for the first time today. I had never played a solo journaling game before and I found it quite interesting, so I thought I'd share the final results - it's had some minimal adjustments done to make it a nicer experience to read through.
 The gist of it: roleplay as a mech pilot adrift in their damaged vehicle after a battle that didn't go so well. You have a grid of cards in front of you that represents your control panel, and each turn, you draw a card and try to use it to "repair" some of the systems while sending transmissions into the void - different value on the card means different prompt for the next transmission.
 Once you've made your transmission, some damage happens at the roll of a dice and the draw of more cards, and then you check if you die or not based on if your reactor (a joker in the center of the grid) is still connected to any other cards. If yes, you get closer to rescue. And if you draw a joker, you blow up on the spot.

Have a good read!

_________

Mayday, mayday, this is Pixy One.
My mech has taken damage and I am adrift. Systems failing. Anyone on this frequency, please respond.

Is anyone else alive out there?



_________



I was just a mercenary when I joined. Thought I was just doing it for the money. Thought that's the only reason I needed to fight.
Turns out killing people changes you. Money isn't enough to turn lives into blips on your radar. Wasn't enough of a reason for me, at least.
In a way, the war made me more optimistic. About the future. About what could happen once it was all over. Maybe this'd lead to real change. Once we take out those bastards stealing our country from under our feet, things will be better.
I never really cared for the future before. Just went from job to job. But now? I don't know. Maybe there's a chance. I just hope I'll get to see the future for myself.



_________



Y'know, when I was young, I thought being a mech pilot was the coolest thing. They were pretty new at the time, on our planet, at least.
Turns out, I was pretty good at it. Passed through the academy with flying colours. I was the best killing machine the nation could hope for, so they put me in an even bigger one.
An "ace", they call me. A legend. Maybe they'll make a memorial out of me. I don't know. I stabilized the life support systems, I think. Bracing for the next malfunction.



_________



Okay. I think everything is looking pretty stable. Managed to patch up the radio enough that it won't fry up, so at least I've got that going now. Can't get rid of my voice that easily. I don't really even have much else on me. Just... urgh. This damn bird. It's a falcon that was bio-engineered to adapt it to the slightly lower gravity of the planet. Well. Not the whole falcon, just... an engraving. Little figurine.
Bones even lighter than a normal bird. You'd think that'd make it frail as paper, but it's surprisingly tough. And they're a lot more social than regular Earth falcons. They like to hunt in groups.
Reminds me of home. It's not the most hospitable place. Others assume they can walk over our people. That's why we got in this mess.
But we can bite back. Together.



_________



Fuck. Fuck! I think I just hit an asteroid. Few systems just went dark. Not sure... which ones. Trying to keep the repairs going. I don't know if it's fast enough.
Damnit, ace my ass, I can't fucking believe I ended up like this. This was a routine fight. I should have been able to handle it. Just had to ambush an enemy squadron that was approaching our system's gate.
Don't think they... had anyone special in there. Seemed like a hail mary more than anything, that squad. More like...
Fuck. Maybe it was a distraction. Did we really fall for it? It... couldn't have been. No. No, I shouldn't... I need to focus on the repairs.



_________



Okay. Stabilized again. I can breathe again. Just gotta... think of something else. Get my mind on something else. Nice thoughts... okay. Yeah.
It's not been all doom and gloom. The war. There's been some nice moments. Some... warmth? I guess?
Met a boy. A little younger than me. He was real nice. Engineer corps, he handled my mech in between missions. He was real friendly. A little... idealistic? Maybe that's where I got all that hope from.
Honestly, I'm not sure... how he got like that. How he got into this war. Never got the chance to ask him. Never got the chance to... tell him that much. He got re-assigned a few months ago.
Wish I could have gotten to know him more. It was nice to get back from... particularly awful missions... and hear him. See him. Even if it wasn't for that long.
Maybe it's for the best that he's not working with a high-priority target like me anymore. I... I hope he's safe.



_________



...Ah... New signatures... detected? Rescuers? Hello?
Damn, the radio doesn't have enough range. If I can detect them, they might... detect me. Okay. Okay.
I have to hold on. I've got to keep hoping. We're organized. We're stronger than they thought. We've got a chance...
Even if I go, we've got a chance. We'll be fine. I'm sure of it. We'll win. We've pushed them out before. We can do it again.



_________



Repairs holding. No significant changes in vital systems.
Maybe I ought to change my outlook on myself if I get out of here. I- I don't know. I've killed people. Yeah. But I've... tried to do good too. I've... saved some people.
...There was that habitat, out in the asteroid mining belt of the system. Stealth enemy squad managed to sneak pretty far into our territory. They got found out when an old miner saw them on one of her cameras. Pretty stupid way to get found out, honestly.
I got sent in cause our starship was right next to 'em. The situation had devolved when I arrived. Enemy squad took the habitat and its sole inhabitant hostage. Demanded to be let go in exchange for his life.
...Well, the squad's sergeant was. Rest of his team was wiped out few minutes after I arrived. He was practically just begging for his life. Said he had a family back home. That he didn't even want to be fighting here. That he signed up cause money was tight. That he didn't know what the people in charge were doing to us. I dunno if any of it was true considering what he was doing to one of us while he said it.
I took him out. Managed to get the miner out. I didn't feel that good. Was I supposed to?



_________



I think about that sergeant's words a lot. He had a family to come home to. People waiting for him. Something material.
...I never got that. Too busy 'being the best' to find love in the academy. Too much extra training to go out with the rest of my squad when I was still climbing up the ranks.
I just have... my nation. The nation's hopes. When I get home, I'll get celebrated and thanked by thousands of voices I've never heard and will never hear again. Maybe that'll make getting laid easier? I don't even know if I want that.
...I really could have gotten to know him. When he worked on my mech and I had free time. I don't know why I didn't. Maybe I was scared. I was scared that one day I wouldn't come back from a mission.

What would he have done then?




Fuck. FUCK- NO! NO! THEY WERE SO CLOSE! You can't- Don't do this to me! DON'T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME!
This is Pixy One, reactor's going critical, please, anyone, respond, please, ANYON-